The 1st Pregnancy

Assalamualaikum.

How Ramadan so far guys? Motivated to do more ibadah this holy month? Or are you just seeing it passes you by like it’s an ordinary month like every other months? Nevertheless, I pray Allah make us to fully seize this golden opportunity to do more ibadah and ultimately be a better servant to the Almighty.

Now this particular post has been long overdue and instead of continuing to procrastinate it, I’m gonna make sure it going to publish at this hour (poyo). So I would like to share my experience prior to my wife’s pregnancy and during the pregnancy itself, which at this point of time she’s in her 24 weeks alhamdulillah.

So let’s start with our first year of marriage. At that time, we’re already have in our mind to have kids at the very first year. But instead of that, I think the first year was more adapting to each other preferences and nuisances hehehe.

Anyway, as the year came to an end, the pressure to having kids started to build up. Added with our friends whom already got pregnant and married in a similar timeframe like us. But I keep saying to myself, hey it’s just the first year. Still haven’t fully understand my wife completely and I am still not :P Though the feeling to play with our friends’ kids and talk to them in a way gave comfort to me.

Now the 2^nd year came. We’re both agreed, “Ok now is the time. We’re gonna make it happen this time around.” And Alhamdulillah my wife got pregnant. We’re so happy at the time considering we’ve been wanting kids since like the first day. But Allah’s wisdom and plan is far greater than ours, my wife had a miscarriage.

I myself were so down at the time but I’d to keep strong to be by my wife’s side since she needed my support more than ever.  There also people who were to comfort and support us in conjure with this unfortunate incident. They comforted and enlightened us with some hikmah behind this miscarriage. From the bottom of my heart, I ask Allah to bless you guys with serenity and barakah in life. Love you guys for the sake of Allah.

Moving on, I took on a spiritual journey as a means to comfort myself. And Allah is so understanding of His slaves. Once, I attended Twins of Faith workshop (kot, tak ingat sgt dh). Then there was a Sheikh gave a talk on marriage. He shared how he and his wife struggled in their early years of marriage. They had a long distance relationship but it never hinder them from having a healthy relationship. He further mentioned that they only had a children after 2 years.

One, because of this long distance thing. Two, because they mutually agreed that they would rather spend those first 2 years to really understand each other before going on a parents journey. I shed a tear hearing this. A masculine tears that is, (nak jugakkk). And it made a lot of sense to me personally. Since then, I tried my best to really spend my time with Rahmah and just enjoy her companion. Although not every time lahh, sori ye Sayang hahaha.

Last January, we went to Umrah. And we really made the most out of our time there. We asked Allah to bless us with having kids. And all praises due to the Almighty, Rahmah got pregnant one or two weeks after we went back from Umrah. And fast forward, Rahmah is now at her 24 weeks and Alhamdulillah the whole pregnancy journey has been treating her okay so far. Even the baby is so active, kicking here and there. Aaa just can’t wait to meet you my dear son.

 

I believe there were people like us. Desperate on wanting kids and still to no avail. I had a friend who have to explicitly express her love to kids so much so that she’s afraid that people around her think she didn’t want kids because she’s still not pregnant. Astaghfirullah.. I ask Allah to bless you with children, children whom would be the apple of your eyes, ameen.

 

Having look back, I could see that Allah wanted for us to have kids when the time is right. In between the first day of our journey up until Rahmah got pregnant, Allah made me learn so many things. To be better husband to my wife and insha Allah to be a great dad to my children. And these instances are just a few wisdom that I can grasp. There might be much more lessons in the future that I’ll understand. For me, this pregnancy journey has made me believe in Allah even more. To fully believe in His power, in His provisions, and most of all, to be content in times of rain or shine.

 

May Allah makes us a better husband and parents to our family. May Allah makes our children a comfort to our eyes. May Allah makes our children to be those who embody Quran and Sunnah in their lives. May Allah brings out humility in us having children as we were so dependent when we were kids. May Allah makes us sensitive to people around us, not to ask sensitive questions when we’re not supposed to. And may Allah grants us His Paradise and gather all of our family in the Paradise. Ameen.